When You Are Not the First Choice For a Job: Handling Rejection

Frustration, stress, feeling like a loser; these are common reactions to rejection or a stalled job search. First and foremost remember, like Tessio said in the movie The Godfather, "This is business, not personal."

There may be any number of reasons that you were not selected for the job. For example, I had a student who interviewed with one of the top 10 pharmaceutical companies in the US. It was down to her and another candidate. Then for three months her emails were met with no response from the company. Finally she got an email awkwardly explaining that the company hires on a quarterly basis, if the department doesn't complete the hire within that time, the funding for the position is withdrawn. The recruiter had not acted in a timely manner and lost the funding for the position.

Another reason that you didn't get the job may be that when the recession hit, those companies you applied to went into a hiring "frost." Sometimes people who are connected within the company through alumni or other networked contacts will get the job instead of you.

Maybe there were valid reasons not to hire you. Those reasons could be that you didn't have the right skills, were too inexperienced (no industry experience) or maybe you choked at the interview because you hadn't prepared adequately for the interview questions.

If you did not receive a job offer, ask the recruiters for constructive criticism. Find out their reasons and act on them. Take additional coursework to fill in technical gaps; volunteer to take leadership over a project; get an internship; build a network into industry through your alumni contacts. 50-55% of job seekers get jobs through referrals( contacts within the company).

Be sure to take extra good care of yourself during this time. Stress can cause a myriad of negative physical responses. Listen to your chatter in your mind. Keep it positive and squelch the "should be," "must be," and "has to be" kind of rigid thinking. The reality is everyone has been rejected one time or another. That's life.

The good news is that you will get a job through persistence, a positive attitude, and knowing that this is business and it's nothing personal.